BC: Darkness

I lay here, in the dark. Thinking of all the choices I can make. In an empty room, clicking my fingernails on the hard wooden floors. From my pinky to index finger. Thinking hard. Loneliness has stepped inside of me. There's sadness and anger in my eyes. My fists tighten as my tears come streaming from my face. It drips slowly down my face to my mouth, I lick my lips quickly, and taste that saltiness in my tears. I wipe my tears with my sleeves, I feel the wetness soaking into my arms, my fists still tightened. I slowly unloosen my fists, feeling weakened. Feeling useless, worthless, and that there's nothing I can do about it. More tears come bursting out uncontrollably, I can feel myself breathing heavier and heavier. Next thing I know, I'm sobbing, trying to stop myself from all this nonsense. Shaking my head and telling myself that I am better than this. My tears have started to cool down, but that sadness is still eating inside me. How do I make it stop?

I have lost count of time, I didn't care. I told myself repeatedly that I will succeed. Saying it out loud to myself countless times, as I hear the soft echo in this empty small dark room. I lay down flat on this hard floor, trying to sleep. Trying to run away from all my problems with a quick nap. But it's impossible to sleep, with thoughts drowning in my head. I get sweaty all the sudden. I feel my back getting wet as I lay there, and my forehead dripping liquids. I feel a rush of heat going through my body from head to toe. I touch my face, and it's incredibly hot. I needed to get out of this place, fast. 

I get myself up quickly, as I run around looking for an opening to a way out, bumping into walls. I finally find the door, I open it and expected to see a way out, but there's another dark room, but larger. I walk slowly, hearing the floors creak every step I take. Sliding my hands against the wall to guide my every move. And then all the sudden my foot gets stuck on something, and as I try to keep going forward, I can't and I feel my body rushing towards the ground. I put out my elbows quickly to save myself from falling flat on the ground. Pain is hitting every inch of my body. I lay there, feeling like giving up. I wanted to stay there forever, to fall asleep, and never awaken. But I told myself No. I'm not giving up. I used all my force and the little energy left in my body to pull myself up. My arms wiggling feeling weak as I try to get up. I catch my breath for a quick second and continue my journey. I walk slowly. And my pace becomes faster and faster. Everything is dark, but I can see a very tiny bit of light all the way down the room. I walk faster. I can feel myself starting to run. And in a long time, I felt a rush of happiness and excitement. As I get closer and closer, the light gets bigger and bigger. I open the door. There's sunlight - and a smile.